~~oh let’s go dance around do the kuchish kuchish dance! oh yeah! oh yeah! ~~

I know, that’s pretty lame. And no offense to anybody ok!!! Sensei Chloe is just joking. And i kinda pity being a teacher. Because teacher always portray an immersible  impression of being serious all the time. Even if they are trying damn hard to crack a joke, nobody will treat it as a joke anyway.

And luckily, I’m just a Sensei on crap languages!  hohoho…..actually, does anybody need this kinda teacher anywhere?? I don’t mind to be a crap language sensei seriously.

Ok, enough of the crap. Dim the lights & roll the drums!  It’s

Sensei Chloe’s Language Lesson 2!

Aren’t you glad?

Due to popular demand ( i say it myself) , here comes Sensei Chloe’s language lesson 2 !!  ( Actually it’s more like i’m running out of ideas on what to write…hohoho! Anyway, it’s ok, i will try my very best to make this post funny! you know….my very best….and i’m never d best in anything…hahaha)

So what do we have in DA house today?

Since Kuchish was out realeased to terms no. 5, i will continue with D no.6 !!!

No. Sex =Sixth(they sounded almost the same) is Bor Lat

The title says it all, no sex is bor lat.

catch no ball?

Bor Lat sounds like Bolah? Except for the LAT, you need to really T it ! Get what i mean?? Bor LATTTTTTTdkTdkTdkTdk…….Yes! That’s it!

What does Bor Lat mean?

If it were a direct translation, it will mean ” no energy”! ( now you know why no sex is bor lat?) Do you wonder why people will treat that as a slang? I mean who will tell people they don’t have energy all day long? No! Infact, people are using it to describe a situation where facts are too difficult to handle or a situation that’s too difficult to deal with. For example,

Dragon Fruit A : ” Excuse me Sir, how do i order things from your menu ah? I don’t understand Englik Sir.

Dragon Fruit B: ” Well, what do you feel like eating, we have mostly local dish here, like Nasi lemak, fry beehoon, fry noodle…..etc”

Dragon Fruit A: ” Oh…..then Sir, i think i’ve decided on what to eat.”

Tauke: “Yes, can i take your order please?”

Dragon Fruit A: ” Yes…can i have seafood fried noodle?”

Tauke: ” Ok sure…..and drinks?”

Dragon Fruit A: ” Hello Sir, my seafood fried noodle, can you please don’t put seafood? “

Tauke: ” Errrrr……like that ah? Then would you like a plain fried noodle instead? we put some soya sauce and bean sprout?”

Dragon Fruit A: ” Yes…..errmm……then for the plain fried noodle can i don’t have the noodles?”

Tauke: ” ……………………………………………………………………….”

Dragon Fruit A: ” Excuse me sir, are you ok?”

Tauke: ” Ngai Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !! Wa bor lat liao lah!” ~peng~

(Oh my gosh! I don’t have energy anymore! I cannot take it! I’m going to faint!)

Got it?

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No.7th goes to CinCai

I actually kinda like this slang, because this slang probably can get you out of almost any situation.

What does it mean?

Cincai simply means ” anything will do” . See.. it’s a good term right?

How do you use Cincai?  For example,

Rambutan A : ” Hey bro, which girl would you like to date tonight? Amy A, Amy B, Amy C, Amy D, Amy E or Amy F?

Rambutan B: ” Cincai lah! afterall they are all the same right!

( Anyone will do! Afterall they are all the same right! )

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No.Egg = Eight goes to Kint nah!

Kint nah simply means hurry up!

How do you pronounce it?  Kint = kin (as in next of kin), nah= just like how you sing in a song, nah nah nah nah nah Kint nah!

How do you use it ?

Example,

Mango A : “Mango B! are you ready? we are going to be late!”

Mango B : ” Just give me another minute or two! “

Mango A: ” Ngai tiiiiiiiii…..Kint Nah!”

(Gosh! Hurry Up!)

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No.9 goes to Kong Jio Wa

Kong jio wa simply means talk cock. Does it sound a bit like Japanese? Kongjiowa, Konichiwa! But do bare in mind, both of them have completely different meanings.

How do we pronounce it? Kong Jio Wa = Kong ( as in King Kong’s Kong), Jio = Zio, Wa= WooooAH

And to use it ?

Bakulong A : ” My neighbour told me today, underneath my house there might be Gold! It might be a Gold Mine under my house! “

Bakulong B : ” Wungiabor! lu kong jio wa lah! ”

( Sure o not? You talk cock lah! )

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Last but not least, No.10 goes to Eh Sai & Beh Sai

This probably is the easiest among all.

Eh sai means Can, ok, sure! Why not ? Bui sai means No! Cannot!

To pronounce it,  Eh= A, Sai= Sh+A+I, Beh = Bh+E ,Sai=Sh+A+I

And to use it?

Langsat A : ” Hey, pretty girl, can i kiss you? “

Langsat B : ” Eh sai…………..”

( Can……………)

Langsat A : ” Can i screw you? “

Langsat B : “ BEH SAI!”

(Cannot! and you can follow by slapping the gentlement)

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That concludes our second Sensei Chloe’s language lesson!

Stay tune for Part 3 !! ( well, maybe not so soon……sensei has to rest and gather more info….hohoho)

Do practice often @ home or in the office!!! Ok my clever students?

Kuchish bascially is what i use to describe Kuching Slang. Initially i was thinking of calling it, Kukish, but it seems that its already a language for Tibetan.

So what’s so special about Kuching slang that i need to go through all the trouble to think of a name for it? Well, i won’t say there’s anything extra special about it. I find some of them to be very unique, and it might also give some of you a new way to express yourselves especially to those that cannot live without the word ” Fuck“; where after you said it, people might find it offensive.

 I won’t say Kuchish is  attached to any official language . It simply derived from a mixture of spoken languages like Hokkien, Teochew, Cantonese, maybe a little bit of Tamil, Mandarin. But i would say mostly are from Hokkien. Why would i even bother to write about this entry? Because i think eventhough  we live in a big country, but every state that you go to, most of them have their own language being ”switched” to their own version. So knowing Kuchish, might help you get around Kuching easier if you were to visit here someday!

Before i start, i thought since this will be my 1st official post on something to be taught, i will call this post

Sensei Chloe’s Language Lesson no. 1

Sensei simply means Teacher in Japanese.

If you happens to be in Kuching one day, sitting in one of our “Kopitiam” = Coffeeshops, you might come across some of these words. Don’t panic! Sensei Chloe has got them covered! hahaha…..

Ok, let’s get right into it.

1st we have — Ngai Ti

What does Ngai Ti means? It simply means — ” Gosh!”, ” Oh Gosh!” or “Oh my Gosh!” you can also use it when you are a bit in shock.People here normally will pronounce it as — Ngai Tiiiiiiiiiii, try to pull the Tiiiiiiii as long as you can.

An example of how you will use Ngai Tiii ~~

~~Ngai Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!! It’s so late already? ~~~

meaning ” Gosh! it’s so late already?”

2nd we have — Wungiabor

1st of all, how do you pronounce Wungiabor? Try this — Wu=Wooo, Ngia= Ya, bor=Boh ( Like Boh Tea)

Wungiabor, simply means = “True or not?”, “Really?” you can use this to express yourself when you are in a state of disbelief.

An example,

Durian A : “Hey, i heard condom price is going up!”

Durian B: ” Ngai Tiiiiiiiii! Wungiabor!!!!”

               (Oh my gosh! Really!!)

3rd we have — Holankan

This one should be quiet easy to pronounce,  Holankan= Ho–lang–kan.

Holankan simply means being scolded by people, or being fucking scolded by people.This term can be use when you are being scolded by someone and you feel it wasn’t fair.

An example,

Papaya A : ” Hey, why you come to lunch so late? “

Papaya B : ” Hai, don’t say anymore, me Holankan!”

                 (please don’t mention it again, i’ve been fucking scolded!)

4th we have — Ngiao Ji

This one is mostly use to describe a person who is very calculative, stingy and likes to confront you whenever they think they’ve been treated unfairly.

How to pronounce this?  Ngiao = Ng+yao, Ji= chi

For example,

Banana A : ” Banana B, why you return me the dvd without my plastic cover? i thought i told you before everything i lend you must be return in good shape? and must including everything? “

Banana B :“ Ngai Tiiiiiiiii…..why you so Ngiao Ji one?”

                 (Oh my gosh! Why are you so calculative?)

Last but not least we have for this class is — Tiao Ngi

This simply means “Fuck you!”  So the next time when you are about to shoot ” Fuck you” to someone, stop! Say ” TIAO NGI!” Instead!!!

How do you pronounce Tiao ngi? Make sure you get this correct!  Tiao Ngi = Tea+Au+ni!

Example,

Starfruit A : ” why you do this job like this? you never listen to what i say do you! you are just a piece of shit! “

Starfruit B : ” TIAO NGI! “( You can also follow by shoving your 3rd finger)

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This concludes the 1st Sensei Chloe’s language lesson!! Do practice them often @ home or @ work ok!!! hehehe

Stay tune for more!

And also, please do let Sensei Chloe know the funny slang you have in your country!!!